Currently listening to: "Every Move I Make" by Out of Eden

God has really been surprising me as of late. His whole "bigger picture" is a little aggravating to me, considering my inability to see it in its entirety. Something seemed so obvious to me. It was the first time I had thought it, but everyone else seemed to agree with my interpretation of the situation. I thought to myself, "this is how God plans to make me really happy. This is a great gift from Him." Then the seemingly impossible, something I knew was past the bounds of imagination, happened; this directly lead to the closing of that welcoming door to happiness. I've been in a bit of a depressed state over this, but I know that whyever it happened, it'll wind up all the better in the end. When God says "no," one really has to take His word for it: "this isn't what'll make you happy. I've got something better planned. Just wait."

Luckily, not all is gloom. He surprised me again this afternoon. While pinning up my drawings for a review, I noticed something different about my sheets. Specifically, the quantity. Everyone around me had six. I had four. Some of you may be able to relate to the situation, but I know that lots have no idea what this situation meant. Think coming to class to find your term paper was due. It's that feeling that you've made a huge mistake and there's nothing you can do to fix it. I sat down staring at the gap above my four sheets where everyone else had two more pages. Oxymoronic as it may sound, the gap stuck out. I tried to relax, taking several deep breaths, never taking my eyes off of that empty space. I thought to myself, "why? Do I have to suffer again? Is this the way my life will be from here on out?" Feeling disappointment happens often. One can get over it. But when it happens before you recover from the last incident, then you feel a huge wave of... I don't know. You feel bad. You feel abandoned.

Then I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I wasn't alone. There was one other student that had four pages. I felt a sudden surge of confidence. The one thing I need during review. My two years of architecture have gotten me plenty of unwanted, though not unneeded, practice in public speaking. In my experience, the one thing you need to be successful in it is a calm attitude that says "I know what I'm talking about." I thrive on that, and now I had it. I got up to present my pavilion. Things went somewhat blurry there, though I remember hearing things you don't normally get from architecture professors: compliments. I can't say they liked my project. By law, I don't think they're allowed to. But they didn't not like it. ^_^

And though this may seem to be a strange place to find a Biblical allegory, I found a way this related to Jesus. Just seeing that other set of four, I thought to myself, "that's like Jesus. He made Himself lower; He came down to our level." Jesus took down two of His pages so we wouldn't be alone. Hope that's a happy enough note to end on.